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Zaczynał od Pegasusa przywiezionego  z ówczesnej czechosłowacji, z jakże modną wtedy grą Mario Bross

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Dobry case jest inspiracją. Słaby przestroga. Kazdy czegoś uczy.
16.02.2012

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2013-08-07 12:10:23

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2013-08-07 12:19:13

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?

2013-08-07 23:15:40

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

2013-08-07 23:24:20

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.

2013-08-08 17:10:35

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

2013-08-08 17:17:25

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

2013-08-09 02:48:10

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.

2013-08-09 06:47:43

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

2013-08-09 06:47:50

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

2013-08-09 10:33:34

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

2013-08-09 10:33:45

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

2013-08-09 13:09:29

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

2013-08-09 13:09:44

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

2013-08-09 21:02:00

The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.

2013-08-09 21:02:11

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

2013-08-10 04:52:55

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

2013-08-10 04:53:00

Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

2013-08-10 13:03:18

Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

2013-08-10 13:03:51

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

2013-08-10 22:00:34

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

2013-08-11 06:08:16

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.

2013-08-11 06:08:21

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.

2013-08-11 14:05:38

Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

2013-08-11 14:06:07

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.

2013-08-11 21:57:09

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

2013-08-11 21:58:18

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

2013-08-12 05:59:26

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

2013-08-12 05:59:53

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

2013-08-12 13:54:50

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

2013-08-12 13:55:01

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.

2013-08-12 14:29:33

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2013-08-12 21:54:00

Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.

2013-08-12 21:54:56

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.

2013-08-13 06:10:23

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

2013-08-13 06:10:35

We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.

2013-08-13 14:47:58

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.

2013-08-13 14:48:44

Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.

2013-08-13 22:28:00

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

2013-08-13 22:28:38

A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.

2013-08-14 06:34:29

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

2013-08-14 06:35:51

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2013-08-14 12:08:55

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2013-08-14 14:12:32

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

2013-08-14 14:13:03

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

2013-08-14 20:24:04

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2013-08-15 00:40:54

If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track

2013-08-15 00:41:04

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

2013-08-15 09:00:40

Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.

2013-08-15 09:01:09

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

2013-08-15 17:09:48

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.

2013-08-15 17:11:24

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

2013-08-16 01:04:19

Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.

2013-08-16 01:05:21

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

2013-08-16 08:52:05

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

2013-08-16 08:52:08

Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.

2013-08-16 17:00:16

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

2013-08-17 01:10:18

He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.

2013-08-17 01:11:26

He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.

2013-08-17 10:22:51

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

2013-08-17 11:36:31

Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.

2013-08-17 22:04:25

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

2013-08-18 02:47:44

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

2013-08-18 09:23:30

Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.

2013-08-18 17:36:50

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

2013-08-18 20:45:14

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

2013-08-19 07:37:33

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

2013-08-19 07:52:12

Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.

2013-08-19 23:11:53

Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.

2013-08-20 07:22:44

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!

2013-08-20 14:33:49

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

2013-08-20 19:22:25

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

2013-08-21 05:49:36

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

2013-08-21 07:04:28

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.

2013-08-21 18:48:09

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

2013-08-21 21:07:55

They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.

2013-08-22 06:59:28

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

2013-08-22 12:59:36

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

2013-08-22 19:19:22

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

2013-08-23 05:07:22

Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

2013-08-23 07:37:33

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

2013-08-23 19:41:48

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

2013-08-23 20:40:12

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

2013-08-24 08:19:23

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

2013-08-24 12:37:44

We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.

2013-08-24 20:06:31

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.

2013-08-25 04:12:26

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

2013-08-25 07:48:26

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A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

2013-08-29 04:48:56

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives

2013-08-29 04:49:18

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

2013-08-29 13:39:16

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

2013-08-29 13:39:28

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.

2013-08-29 22:56:56

The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.

2013-08-29 22:57:59

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

2013-08-30 07:41:43

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

2013-08-30 07:42:00

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

2013-08-30 16:25:59

Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

2013-08-30 16:26:03

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

2013-08-31 01:50:57

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

2013-08-31 01:51:46

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.

2013-08-31 10:24:51

Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

2013-08-31 10:24:59

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

2013-08-31 18:42:03

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

2013-09-01 02:55:22

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

2013-09-01 10:56:25

Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.

2013-09-01 10:56:28

To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

2013-09-01 18:56:52

If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.

2013-09-02 03:09:36

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

2013-09-02 03:09:38

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

2013-09-02 11:22:07

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

2013-09-02 11:22:24

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

2013-09-02 20:18:05

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

2013-09-02 20:18:42
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I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

2013-09-03 05:04:09

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

2013-09-03 05:04:52

The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.

2013-09-03 13:33:45

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

2013-09-03 13:33:57

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

2013-09-03 22:32:26

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

2013-09-03 22:32:37

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

2013-09-04 07:00:24

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

2013-09-04 07:00:46

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

2013-09-04 10:45:07

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2013-09-04 15:31:51

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

2013-09-04 15:32:12

Why don't you write books people can read?

2013-09-05 00:58:12

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

2013-09-05 00:58:24

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

2013-09-05 09:44:34

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

2013-09-05 09:44:52

A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.

2013-09-05 18:27:49

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

2013-09-05 22:52:05

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2013-09-06 03:26:51

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

2013-09-06 03:27:00

The covers of this book are too far apart.

2013-09-06 12:08:32

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.

2013-09-06 12:08:34

Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.

2013-09-06 22:54:26

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

2013-09-07 09:40:41

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

2013-09-14 02:30:53

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2013-09-16 12:58:27

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

2013-09-16 12:58:57

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

2013-09-16 22:29:37

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

2013-09-17 07:26:12

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

2013-09-17 07:26:37

Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.

2013-09-17 16:33:57

Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.

2013-09-17 16:34:06

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.

2013-09-18 02:04:59

The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.

2013-09-18 02:05:02

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

2013-09-18 11:02:09

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

2013-09-18 11:02:14

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

2013-09-18 20:43:33

The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.

2013-09-18 20:43:49

Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.

2013-09-19 05:59:33

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

2013-09-19 06:00:12

The truth is more important than the facts.

2013-09-19 14:37:21

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

2013-09-19 14:37:35

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

2013-09-20 00:11:10

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

2013-09-20 00:11:27

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

2013-09-20 08:51:03

Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?

2013-09-20 18:29:24

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

2013-09-21 03:33:10

They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

2013-09-21 04:28:01

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

2013-09-21 12:24:55

You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

2013-09-21 13:52:11

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.

2013-09-21 21:19:37

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

2013-09-21 23:19:42

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

2013-09-22 06:04:28

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

2013-09-22 08:26:09

Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.

2013-09-22 14:37:12

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

2013-09-22 17:32:57

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

2013-09-22 23:28:42

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

2013-09-23 02:40:31

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

2013-09-23 07:46:35

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

2013-09-23 11:29:10

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

2013-09-23 16:55:52

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

2013-09-23 21:41:42

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

2013-09-24 02:44:34

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

2013-09-24 07:43:31

If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.

2013-09-24 11:53:00

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

2013-09-24 17:31:25

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

2013-09-24 21:18:13

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

2013-09-25 03:45:01

I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.

2013-09-25 07:02:08

A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.

2013-09-25 13:42:24

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives

2013-09-25 16:37:24

Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.

2013-09-26 00:17:56

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

2013-09-26 02:32:41

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

2013-09-26 10:14:28

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

2013-09-26 11:53:29

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

2013-09-26 20:39:27

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

2013-09-26 21:50:47

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

2013-09-27 07:12:08

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.

2013-09-27 07:45:58

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

2013-09-27 17:58:27

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

2013-09-27 18:00:40

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.

2013-09-28 05:25:09

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

2013-10-02 07:23:35

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

2013-10-02 08:06:51

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

2013-10-02 18:27:28

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

2013-10-03 04:32:02

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

2013-10-03 04:32:05

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

2013-10-03 13:59:03

UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.

2013-10-03 13:59:16

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

2013-10-04 00:48:11

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

2013-10-04 00:48:24

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

2013-10-04 10:40:12

Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.

2013-10-04 10:40:23

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

2013-10-04 20:36:18

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

2013-10-05 06:41:18

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

2013-10-05 16:13:57

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

2013-10-05 16:14:59

If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.

2013-10-06 02:32:34

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

2013-10-06 11:48:53

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

2013-10-07 05:45:05

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

2013-10-07 17:52:41

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

2013-10-08 03:08:19

Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain

2013-10-09 00:59:29

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

2013-10-09 08:21:00

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

2013-10-09 22:10:55

Why don't you write books people can read?

2013-10-10 06:59:06

rvxkbmy

2013-10-10 22:44:50

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

2013-10-11 17:10:17

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

2013-10-12 13:29:51

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

2013-10-13 12:09:36

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.

2013-10-14 03:39:54

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

2013-10-14 08:38:57

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.

2013-10-15 06:06:29

What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.

2013-10-15 17:26:25

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.

2013-10-16 03:57:26

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

2013-10-16 05:04:25

tnxvgf

2013-10-19 03:02:32

reaahjl

2013-10-21 12:15:24

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

2013-10-21 21:46:45

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

2013-10-22 08:51:56

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

2013-10-22 18:27:03

Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.

2013-10-23 04:27:34

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

2013-10-23 04:27:37

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

2013-10-23 14:39:30

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

2013-10-23 14:40:21

Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain

2013-10-24 00:45:06

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

2013-10-24 00:45:23

Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.

2013-10-24 10:04:47

After every 'victory' you have more enemies.

2013-10-24 19:41:57

The covers of this book are too far apart.

2013-10-24 19:42:12

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !

2013-10-25 05:32:36

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

2013-10-25 05:32:38

The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.

2013-10-26 01:46:08

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

2013-10-26 01:46:30

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

2013-10-26 11:38:52

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

2013-10-26 11:39:08

Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

2013-10-26 21:47:55

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

2013-10-26 21:48:04

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

2013-10-27 07:20:54

I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.

2013-10-27 07:20:56

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

2013-10-27 17:50:35

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

2013-10-27 17:50:44

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

2013-10-28 04:46:37

It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.

2013-10-28 04:46:45

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

2013-10-28 16:08:41

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

2013-10-28 16:08:49

We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.

2013-10-29 03:31:49

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

2013-10-29 14:25:14

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

2013-10-29 14:25:19

Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.

2013-10-30 01:49:41

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

2013-10-30 12:23:30

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

2013-10-30 12:23:37

To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

2013-10-30 23:54:38

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

2013-10-31 11:22:41

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.

2013-10-31 11:22:44

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

2013-11-04 14:01:58

rnwqkqjuufedifssjft, http://www.tdnjpywduo.com/ otfdvbvnjc

2013-11-11 20:21:03

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

2013-11-11 20:21:23

In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.

2013-11-12 03:18:21

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

2013-11-12 03:19:08

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

2013-11-12 10:15:24

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

2013-11-12 10:16:03

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

2013-11-12 17:58:42

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

2013-11-12 17:59:52

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

2013-11-13 02:33:00

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

2013-11-13 17:31:33

The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.

2013-11-13 17:32:11

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

2013-11-14 01:59:13

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

2013-11-14 02:00:25

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

2013-11-14 09:05:05

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

2013-11-14 16:12:35

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

2013-11-14 16:13:27

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

2013-11-15 01:00:20

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

2013-11-15 01:00:36

Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.

2013-11-15 08:23:28

Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.

2013-11-15 15:27:53

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings

2013-11-15 20:47:45

ruwytar

2013-11-15 20:59:10

jspglz

2013-11-16 04:43:49

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

2013-11-16 08:08:36

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

2013-11-16 19:26:54

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.

2013-11-17 01:42:54

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

2013-11-17 11:07:35

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

2013-11-17 11:19:33

O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

2013-11-18 01:45:03

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

2013-11-18 04:18:24

We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.

2013-11-18 12:59:45

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

2013-11-18 16:23:22

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

2013-11-18 23:22:35

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

2013-11-19 08:57:01

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

2013-11-19 09:00:59

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

2013-11-19 21:11:14

If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.

2013-11-19 21:11:35

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

2013-11-20 03:51:13

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

2013-11-20 10:11:27

Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.

2013-11-20 10:11:39

[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.

2013-11-20 17:00:28

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

2013-11-20 17:01:44

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

2013-11-21 00:43:58

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!

2013-11-21 00:44:06

Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.

2013-11-21 07:15:53

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

2013-11-21 07:15:59

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

2013-11-21 13:35:18

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.

2013-11-21 13:35:24

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

2013-11-21 21:13:50

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

2013-11-21 21:15:18

The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.

2013-11-22 05:20:00

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

2013-11-22 05:20:05

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

2013-11-22 11:26:15

ybxcqjur

2013-11-22 12:56:53

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.

2013-11-22 12:57:50

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

2013-11-22 14:04:16

xhgevez

2013-11-22 20:44:59

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

2013-11-23 05:11:25

Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.

2013-11-23 05:11:51

Smith & Wesson — the original point and click interface.

2013-11-23 17:19:26

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

2013-11-23 17:39:24

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

2013-11-24 04:46:32

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.

2013-11-24 05:59:54

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?

2013-11-24 15:07:22

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

2013-11-24 17:07:47

I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.

2013-11-24 18:34:36

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.

2013-11-24 18:35:29

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

2013-11-24 23:51:09

Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.

2013-11-25 08:02:06

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

2013-11-25 18:58:35

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

2013-11-27 00:44:37

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

2013-11-27 10:20:25

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

2013-11-28 07:49:27

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?

2013-11-28 22:29:01

Men have become the tools of their tools.

2013-11-29 11:50:05

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

2013-11-30 10:48:09

Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.

2013-11-30 17:15:30

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.

2013-12-01 17:28:56

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

2013-12-01 17:31:12

Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.

2013-12-02 01:31:35

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

2013-12-02 01:31:48

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

2013-12-02 09:30:12

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

2013-12-02 09:30:16

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.

2013-12-02 17:28:12

War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.

2013-12-02 17:28:56

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

2013-12-03 01:58:18

A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.

2013-12-03 01:58:27

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings

2013-12-03 09:14:45

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.

2013-12-03 09:14:52

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

2013-12-03 17:05:40

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

2013-12-03 17:05:52

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

2013-12-04 00:54:54

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

2013-12-04 00:55:00

Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.

2013-12-04 08:22:53

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

2013-12-04 08:23:16

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

2013-12-04 16:32:55

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

2013-12-04 16:32:57

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

2013-12-05 00:34:06

A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.

2013-12-05 00:34:28

Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?

2013-12-05 21:10:37

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

2013-12-05 21:26:41

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.

2013-12-09 17:57:53

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

2013-12-09 17:58:15

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

2013-12-10 02:17:10

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

2013-12-10 02:20:03

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

2013-12-10 12:33:54

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

2013-12-10 20:53:13

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

2013-12-12 15:33:00

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

2013-12-12 15:33:42

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

2013-12-12 22:42:19

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

2013-12-12 22:43:09

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

2013-12-13 14:24:54

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

2013-12-13 16:08:28

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

2013-12-14 13:13:08

The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.

2013-12-14 13:13:35

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

2013-12-14 20:50:25

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

2013-12-14 23:22:30

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

2013-12-15 15:13:31

Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

2013-12-15 15:21:59

Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .

2013-12-16 13:41:55

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

2013-12-16 13:42:10

Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.

2013-12-16 23:58:08

Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

2013-12-17 00:03:43

The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.

2013-12-17 12:29:30

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

2013-12-17 12:30:13

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

2013-12-17 20:32:36

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

2013-12-17 20:32:43

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

2013-12-18 00:49:25

Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.

2013-12-18 17:28:55

Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.

2013-12-19 02:56:02

The truth is more important than the facts.

2013-12-19 03:04:05

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?

2013-12-19 08:39:30

rgprwvr

2013-12-19 14:44:11

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

2013-12-19 23:07:35

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

2013-12-19 23:08:55

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.

2013-12-20 17:18:38

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

2013-12-20 17:19:38

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

2013-12-21 03:06:04

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

2013-12-21 03:06:50

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.

2013-12-21 13:41:19

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

2013-12-21 13:43:23

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

2013-12-22 03:56:50

Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.

2013-12-22 03:57:10

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

2013-12-22 14:05:17

The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.

2013-12-22 14:05:47

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

2013-12-22 22:40:44

Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.

2013-12-22 23:31:24

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

2013-12-23 10:08:49

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

2013-12-23 12:24:10

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

2013-12-23 12:24:43

Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.

2013-12-24 11:54:29

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

2013-12-24 12:00:44

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

2013-12-24 15:39:37

Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.

2013-12-24 15:40:00

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives

2013-12-24 23:56:38

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.

2013-12-25 00:00:43

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

2013-12-25 19:12:33

Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.

2013-12-26 02:04:42

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

2013-12-26 02:38:22

Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

2013-12-27 12:24:34

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

2013-12-27 12:24:36

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

2013-12-27 20:40:57

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

2013-12-27 20:41:16

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

2013-12-28 05:37:01

Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.

2013-12-28 05:37:12

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

2013-12-28 16:40:57

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

2013-12-28 17:23:19

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

2013-12-29 00:49:14

Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.

2013-12-29 00:50:46

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

2013-12-30 16:13:59

Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.

2013-12-30 16:15:38

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.

2013-12-31 12:11:53

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

2013-12-31 12:12:04

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

2013-12-31 20:53:33

lnigyfdn

2013-12-31 23:16:15

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

2013-12-31 23:16:58

If a man does his best, what else is there?

2014-01-01 17:25:50

UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.

2014-01-02 02:13:18

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

2014-01-02 11:07:59

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.

2014-01-02 17:33:23

The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.

2014-01-02 17:33:26

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.

2014-01-03 03:19:28

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.

2014-01-03 06:58:08

Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.

2014-01-04 11:30:11

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

2014-01-04 11:30:35

We have art to save ourselves from the truth.

2014-01-05 00:49:28

A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.

2014-01-05 00:49:31

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

2014-01-05 18:17:25

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

2014-01-05 18:17:52

Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?

2014-01-05 18:39:56

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

2014-01-05 18:41:31

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

2014-01-06 13:50:31

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

2014-01-06 13:51:02

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

2014-01-06 15:25:25

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

2014-01-06 19:29:30

Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.

2014-01-06 19:30:20

If a man does his best, what else is there?

2014-01-07 04:04:57

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.

2014-01-07 10:44:36

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

2014-01-07 14:11:05

In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.

2014-01-07 14:11:11

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

2014-01-07 18:00:30

In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.

2014-01-07 18:00:48

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

2014-01-07 23:49:13

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

2014-01-08 00:40:28

I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.

2014-01-11 22:21:23

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.

2014-01-11 22:21:41

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

2014-01-12 05:01:02

I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.

2014-01-12 05:02:59

I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.

2014-01-12 09:33:51

It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

2014-01-12 20:13:42

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

2014-01-12 21:58:19

The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.

2014-01-13 19:58:51

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

2014-01-13 19:59:03

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

2014-01-14 00:58:43

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

2014-01-14 08:47:36

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

2014-01-14 09:23:39

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

2014-01-14 09:23:47

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.

2014-01-14 12:40:14

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

2014-01-14 12:40:37

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

2014-01-14 16:42:03

What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.

2014-01-15 11:37:35

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

2014-01-15 11:38:25

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

2014-01-15 14:56:11

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

2014-01-15 14:56:35

Write a wise word and your name will live forever.

2014-01-15 19:05:59

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.

2014-01-15 22:49:36

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.

2014-01-15 22:49:43

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

2014-01-16 02:23:58

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

2014-01-16 05:51:45

Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.

2014-01-16 05:52:05

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

2014-01-16 09:05:52

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

2014-01-16 09:06:11

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

2014-01-16 13:08:42

I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.

2014-01-16 13:27:57

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

2014-01-17 11:27:00

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

2014-01-17 11:27:24

It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.

2014-01-17 16:30:01

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

2014-01-17 16:33:50

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

2014-01-18 00:38:44

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

2014-01-18 02:46:45

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

2014-01-18 08:14:03

We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.

2014-01-18 12:21:15

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

2014-01-18 15:07:50

Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.

2014-01-18 22:00:00

Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

2014-01-18 22:30:35

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

2014-01-19 05:40:55

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

2014-01-19 19:54:23

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.

2014-01-19 23:48:49

Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.

2014-01-20 09:40:23

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

2014-01-20 10:08:00

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

2014-01-26 12:06:58

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

2014-01-26 12:24:22

Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good business! Suicide or MS C++? Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...

2014-01-26 18:21:54

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.

2014-01-26 21:56:06

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

2014-01-27 00:36:36

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

2014-01-27 06:46:03

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

2014-01-27 07:22:32

C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog

2014-01-27 12:45:16

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

2014-01-27 20:08:04

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

2014-01-27 21:13:00

jokvkta

2014-01-28 03:01:53

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

2014-01-28 03:43:26

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

2014-01-28 08:59:59

If you are going through hell, keep going.

2014-01-28 12:46:31

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

2014-01-28 23:12:46

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

2014-01-29 05:37:27

Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.

2014-01-29 09:13:37

Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.

2014-01-29 11:28:06

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

2014-01-29 18:02:23

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

2014-01-29 18:53:03

Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question

2014-01-30 01:44:44

Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.

2014-01-30 06:42:00

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.

2014-01-30 09:43:24

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.

2014-01-30 18:22:05

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

2014-01-30 18:45:15

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

2014-01-31 02:56:00

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!

2014-01-31 06:01:56

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

2014-01-31 08:53:01

Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.

2014-01-31 14:31:48

The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.

2014-01-31 14:33:45

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.

2014-01-31 22:08:33

It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.

2014-02-01 02:14:39

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

2014-02-01 05:26:27

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

2014-02-01 13:42:46

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

2014-02-01 13:50:15

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.

2014-02-01 21:39:21

The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?

2014-02-02 00:53:20

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

2014-02-02 03:47:04

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

2014-02-02 10:11:44

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

2014-02-02 19:00:05

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'

2014-02-02 22:17:18

A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.

2014-02-03 03:52:21

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

2014-02-03 04:00:15

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

2014-02-03 09:56:16

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

2014-02-03 12:58:55

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

2014-02-03 16:55:50

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.

2014-02-04 00:39:30

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.

2014-02-04 00:56:30

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

2014-02-04 07:19:28

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

2014-02-04 10:03:03

Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

2014-02-04 13:33:11

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

2014-02-04 19:53:59

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

2014-02-04 20:01:44

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

2014-02-05 02:35:03

Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.

2014-02-05 05:22:32

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

2014-02-05 08:52:41

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

2014-02-05 15:04:33

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

2014-02-05 15:36:33

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

2014-02-05 23:51:58

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

2014-02-06 02:37:24

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.

2014-02-06 07:14:58

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

2014-02-06 11:10:16

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

2014-02-06 11:27:11

Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.

2014-02-06 18:15:55

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.

2014-02-06 22:24:53

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

2014-02-07 01:43:14

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

2014-02-07 08:52:30

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

2014-02-07 15:44:18

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

2014-02-07 20:16:10

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

2014-02-07 23:35:52

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

2014-02-08 06:18:01

About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.

2014-02-08 06:38:55

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

2014-02-08 13:10:00

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

2014-02-08 17:33:40

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

2014-02-08 20:08:26

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

2014-02-09 02:49:45

Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.

2014-02-09 04:00:18

Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.

2014-02-09 09:22:30

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

2014-02-09 14:33:43

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

2014-02-09 23:25:52

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

2014-02-10 02:06:37

I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.

2014-02-10 06:56:12

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

2014-02-10 14:10:25

To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

2014-02-10 21:54:27

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

2014-02-11 05:38:56

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.

2014-02-11 13:56:10

To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

2014-02-11 20:45:51

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

2014-02-12 03:05:50

Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.

2014-02-12 05:31:18

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

2014-02-12 12:35:31

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

2014-02-12 14:30:28

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

2014-02-13 03:19:53

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

2014-02-13 18:35:48

A camel is a horse designed by a committee

2014-02-14 01:27:04

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

2014-02-15 06:59:29

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

2014-02-16 07:23:51

It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.

2014-02-16 17:14:38

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

2014-02-17 16:29:38

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

2014-02-17 16:45:44
HGH

Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

2014-02-17 23:52:14

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

2014-02-18 03:49:08

Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.

2014-02-18 06:53:09

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

2014-02-18 13:39:02

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

2014-02-18 14:17:41

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

2014-02-18 21:27:52

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.

2014-02-19 01:39:31

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

2014-02-19 05:00:11

A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.

2014-02-19 11:55:07

War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.

2014-02-19 12:06:40

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

2014-02-19 19:49:09

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

2014-02-20 00:20:56

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

2014-02-20 03:27:43

The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!

2014-02-20 10:33:06

About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.

2014-02-20 12:16:25

Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...

2014-02-20 15:18:30

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

2014-02-20 15:34:08

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

2014-02-21 04:07:28

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

2014-02-21 07:25:48

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.

2014-02-21 14:41:53

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'

2014-02-21 15:13:58

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

2014-02-21 22:27:07

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

2014-02-22 03:11:18

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

2014-02-22 06:19:28

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

2014-02-22 13:26:31

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

2014-02-22 14:00:28

Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

2014-02-22 20:59:20

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

2014-02-23 01:31:21

The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.

2014-02-23 04:32:01

Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.

2014-02-23 12:02:52

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

2014-02-23 12:36:46

I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.

2014-02-23 19:43:20

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

2014-02-23 23:47:36

I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.

2014-02-24 03:03:54

Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.

2014-02-24 10:01:38

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

2014-02-24 10:31:35

Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?

2014-02-24 23:00:05

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

2014-02-25 02:34:21

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

2014-02-25 10:06:16

Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?

2014-02-25 10:47:30

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

2014-02-25 17:49:58

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

2014-02-25 23:32:34

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.

2014-02-26 01:58:28

It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.

2014-02-26 09:04:18

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

2014-02-26 11:35:27

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

2014-02-26 16:28:28

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

2014-02-27 00:36:07

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

2014-02-27 00:54:29

I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.

2014-02-27 05:00:14

cknxgk

2014-02-27 08:10:04

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.

2014-02-27 13:48:53

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

2014-02-27 16:12:42

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

2014-02-28 00:06:08

In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.

2014-02-28 03:06:20

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

2014-02-28 07:47:30

I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.

2014-02-28 15:46:20

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !

2014-02-28 16:09:59

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

2014-03-01 00:50:23

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

2014-03-01 09:21:23

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

2014-03-01 19:23:24

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

2014-03-01 19:43:07

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

2014-03-02 03:41:38

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.

2014-03-02 08:21:42

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

2014-03-02 11:58:51

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.

2014-03-02 20:22:31

Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.

2014-03-02 20:37:13

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

2014-03-03 04:36:53

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

2014-03-03 08:57:55

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

2014-03-03 13:06:27

The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.

2014-03-03 22:05:35

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.

2014-03-03 22:09:45

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

2014-03-04 07:13:49

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

2014-03-04 11:01:03

Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.

2014-03-04 16:33:10

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

2014-03-05 02:15:23

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

2014-03-05 11:13:11

Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.

2014-03-05 13:31:05

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

2014-03-05 21:24:31

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

2014-03-06 03:48:25

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

2014-03-06 07:19:53

Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

2014-03-06 16:30:30

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

2014-03-06 16:45:41

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.

2014-03-07 01:59:23

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

2014-03-07 05:59:38

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

2014-03-07 11:48:25

Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !

2014-03-07 20:44:48

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

2014-03-07 21:45:22

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

2014-03-08 06:42:21

Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.

2014-03-08 09:56:00

It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.

2014-03-08 15:56:20

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

2014-03-09 10:02:52

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

2014-03-09 12:51:47

Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.

2014-03-09 20:59:43

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

2014-03-10 05:09:47

If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.

2014-03-10 13:35:36

True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.

2014-03-10 14:09:06

Opportunities multiply as they are seized.

2014-03-11 07:36:53

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

2014-03-11 16:24:36

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.

2014-03-11 17:00:32

It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.

2014-03-12 01:08:33

Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.

2014-03-12 06:03:14

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

2014-03-12 09:49:46

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

2014-03-12 21:13:36

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

2014-03-12 22:13:34

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.

2014-03-13 07:33:25

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

2014-03-13 13:45:50

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

2014-03-13 17:48:23

Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.

2014-03-14 04:40:57

I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

2014-03-14 09:13:44

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

2014-03-14 15:21:42

Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.

2014-03-15 02:18:37

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

2014-03-15 05:11:04

When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.

2014-03-15 12:30:57

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

2014-03-15 23:20:59

I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.

2014-03-16 00:28:44

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

2014-03-16 09:52:33

I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change

2014-03-16 20:03:10

Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.

2014-03-16 20:32:27

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

2014-03-17 07:08:10

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

2014-03-17 15:21:02

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

2014-03-17 18:03:38

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

2014-03-18 05:22:29

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

2014-03-18 11:53:22

Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.

2014-03-18 16:29:59

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

2014-03-19 07:27:01

The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.

2014-03-19 18:38:20

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.

2014-03-20 02:35:21

Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.

2014-03-20 07:00:29

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

2014-03-20 10:38:56

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

2014-03-20 19:18:34

Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.

2014-03-20 19:36:15

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

2014-03-21 08:42:38
HCG

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

2014-03-21 12:43:34

A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)

2014-03-21 21:28:41

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

2014-03-21 21:48:21

They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

2014-03-22 06:02:21

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

2014-03-22 10:31:41

Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.

2014-03-22 14:23:37

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

2014-03-23 06:07:43

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

2014-03-24 07:21:30

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.

2014-03-24 12:29:51

Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.

2014-03-26 21:46:02

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

2014-03-27 03:04:04

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

2014-03-28 04:21:47

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.

2014-03-28 18:03:21

Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.

2014-03-29 09:01:06

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

2014-03-29 15:10:33

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

2014-03-29 22:50:46

The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.

2014-03-30 13:26:09

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

2014-03-31 00:59:46

Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.

2014-03-31 03:10:52

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

2014-03-31 19:39:28

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

2014-03-31 20:04:22

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

2014-04-01 04:42:18

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

2014-04-01 09:22:24

Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes

2014-04-01 13:34:02

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.

2014-04-01 22:52:22

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

2014-04-01 23:07:59

War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.

2014-04-02 07:53:03

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

2014-04-02 12:40:37

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

2014-04-02 17:14:51

The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.

2014-04-03 02:54:35

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

2014-04-03 02:55:26

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

2014-04-03 11:51:11

Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.

2014-04-03 16:45:37

Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...

2014-04-03 21:33:46

Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

2014-04-04 07:41:36

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

2014-04-04 18:39:34

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

2014-04-05 05:09:03

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

2014-04-05 05:29:23

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

2014-04-05 15:50:16

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

2014-04-06 00:47:37

Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.

2014-04-06 02:42:31

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

2014-04-06 12:58:32

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

2014-04-06 20:00:43

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

2014-04-06 23:32:25

Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes

2014-04-07 10:03:43

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

2014-04-07 15:49:00

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

2014-04-07 20:54:52

We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.

2014-04-08 07:39:37

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

2014-04-08 11:40:13

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

2014-04-08 18:43:19

The covers of this book are too far apart.

2014-04-09 02:49:49

rukwxbd

2014-04-09 05:32:20

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

2014-04-09 16:39:44

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

2014-04-10 15:52:46

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.

2014-04-11 15:13:28

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

2014-04-12 10:23:49

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

2014-04-13 14:54:22

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

2014-04-13 15:08:51

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

2014-04-14 00:50:01

Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question

2014-04-14 06:02:57

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

2014-04-14 10:58:18

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

2014-04-14 21:41:37

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

2014-04-14 22:00:55

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

2014-04-15 09:02:29

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

2014-04-15 13:11:20

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

2014-04-15 20:09:36

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

2014-04-16 05:10:39

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

2014-04-16 07:03:06

If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.

2014-04-16 18:03:21

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.

2014-04-16 20:59:06

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

2014-04-17 05:14:02

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

2014-04-17 13:15:45

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

2014-04-17 16:09:56

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.

2014-04-18 03:08:13

Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.

2014-04-18 05:07:56

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

2014-04-18 13:42:41

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!

2014-04-18 20:37:54

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

2014-04-19 00:58:08

Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

2014-04-19 11:28:30

Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.

2014-04-19 12:06:43

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

2014-04-19 23:13:58

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

2014-04-20 04:20:03

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

2014-04-20 09:37:46

When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.

2014-04-20 19:11:26

They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

2014-04-20 19:45:02

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

2014-04-21 06:08:55

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

2014-04-21 10:06:05

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

2014-04-21 16:59:45

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

2014-04-22 04:06:32

Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.

2014-04-22 15:06:05

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

2014-04-22 18:43:01

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.

2014-04-23 03:24:35

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

2014-04-23 14:15:20

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

2014-04-24 12:15:36

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

2014-04-24 12:31:43

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

2014-04-24 22:50:20

Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.

2014-04-25 04:06:10

A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.

2014-04-25 09:17:28

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

2014-04-25 19:58:04

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

2014-04-25 20:06:35

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

2014-04-26 06:13:10

A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.

2014-04-26 11:17:20

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

2014-04-27 03:24:35

We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.

2014-04-27 03:35:20

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

2014-04-27 13:43:48

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

2014-04-27 19:01:03

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.

2014-04-27 23:44:58

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

2014-04-28 09:30:08

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes

2014-04-28 09:53:02

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

2014-04-28 19:51:22

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

2014-04-29 01:38:58

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light

2014-04-29 06:19:13

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

2014-04-29 16:18:48

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

2014-04-29 16:46:38

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

2014-04-30 03:05:42

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

2014-04-30 08:11:41

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

2014-04-30 12:48:22

If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.

2014-04-30 23:29:04

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

2014-04-30 23:54:19

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

2014-05-01 09:17:41

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

2014-05-01 14:46:30

Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.

2014-05-01 19:48:52

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

2014-05-02 05:44:23

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

2014-05-02 06:03:03

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

2014-05-02 15:47:03

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

2014-05-02 23:06:01

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

2014-05-03 04:17:24

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

2014-05-03 14:25:43

Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.

2014-05-03 15:03:44

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

2014-05-04 02:28:26

Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

2014-05-04 08:29:43

Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

2014-05-04 12:58:42

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

2014-05-04 23:21:45

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.

2014-05-04 23:55:54

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.

2014-05-05 09:14:00

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

2014-05-05 14:44:52

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

2014-05-05 19:58:41

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

2014-05-06 07:07:46

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

2014-05-06 07:37:31

Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.

2014-05-06 17:14:02

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

2014-05-06 17:30:36

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

2014-05-07 03:52:23

We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.

2014-05-07 14:21:55

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

2014-05-08 02:12:23

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

2014-05-08 12:31:42

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

2014-05-08 18:19:15

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

2014-05-08 23:33:15

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?

2014-05-09 09:51:24

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

2014-05-09 10:17:27

If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

2014-05-09 21:09:05

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

2014-05-10 03:39:25

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

2014-05-10 07:57:25

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

2014-05-10 18:31:54

Why don't you write books people can read?

2014-05-10 20:35:31

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

2014-05-11 13:59:05

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

2014-05-11 16:31:52

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

2014-05-12 03:22:43

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

2014-05-12 06:56:28

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

2014-05-12 14:05:48

Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

2014-05-13 12:50:45
HGH

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.

2014-05-13 13:10:08

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.

2014-05-14 06:15:06

Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.

2014-05-14 11:29:43

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

2014-05-14 22:38:52

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

2014-05-14 22:40:02

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.

2014-05-15 07:41:25

lxhwteu

2014-05-15 09:01:32

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

2014-05-15 14:02:40

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

2014-05-15 19:56:11

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

2014-05-16 06:19:51

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.

2014-05-16 06:23:39

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.

2014-05-16 16:57:27

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

2014-05-16 22:19:58

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

2014-05-17 03:51:07

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.

2014-05-17 14:25:15

Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.

2014-05-17 14:27:08

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

2014-05-18 05:33:33
hcg

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

2014-05-18 10:37:21

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

2014-05-18 20:01:16

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.

2014-05-18 20:20:25

I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.

2014-05-19 06:12:37
HGH

I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.

2014-05-19 10:46:43

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

2014-05-19 16:24:30

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

2014-05-19 18:13:42

Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.

2014-05-19 18:36:25

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.

2014-05-20 04:31:18

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

2014-05-20 09:43:14

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

2014-05-20 15:00:40

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

2014-05-21 01:55:40

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

2014-05-21 02:25:38

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

2014-05-21 12:13:32

Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.

2014-05-21 18:39:30

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.

2014-05-21 23:07:39

To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

2014-05-22 09:45:56

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

2014-05-22 10:50:08

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.

2014-05-22 21:20:59

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

2014-05-23 03:36:43

To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

2014-05-23 07:32:19

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

2014-05-23 18:00:48

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.

2014-05-24 04:52:51

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.

2014-05-24 15:14:58

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

2014-05-25 01:52:06

Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.

2014-05-25 03:14:16

O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

2014-05-25 12:22:51

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.

2014-05-25 18:32:58

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

2014-05-25 22:45:50

If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.

2014-05-26 09:06:15

Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain

2014-05-26 09:41:33

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

2014-05-26 19:23:16

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

2014-05-27 00:47:33

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

2014-05-27 05:36:54

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

2014-05-27 15:41:54

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

2014-05-27 15:43:48

If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

2014-05-28 07:29:58

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

2014-05-28 13:54:37

If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.

2014-05-29 16:59:15

Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes

2014-05-30 00:00:47

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.

2014-05-30 13:40:28

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

2014-05-30 13:57:41

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

2014-05-31 04:36:42

It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.

2014-05-31 09:19:49

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

2014-05-31 18:17:42

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

2014-05-31 18:26:29

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

2014-06-05 13:24:49

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.

2014-06-05 13:45:25

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

2014-06-06 01:30:58

Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.

2014-06-06 07:22:38

The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.

2014-06-06 12:43:47

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

2014-06-06 23:52:50

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

2014-06-07 00:07:59

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

2014-06-07 10:57:00

O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

2014-06-07 16:40:37

Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

2014-06-07 22:07:55

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

2014-06-08 09:03:38

Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.

2014-06-08 19:57:14

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.

2014-06-09 01:36:22

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

2014-06-09 07:03:19

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

2014-06-09 18:05:31

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

2014-06-09 18:31:54

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

2014-06-10 05:29:16

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

2014-06-10 11:17:58

It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.

2014-06-10 16:30:53

Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.

2014-06-11 04:00:16

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

2014-06-11 05:14:18

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

2014-06-11 15:29:13

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

2014-06-11 15:49:12

Opportunities multiply as they are seized.

2014-06-12 03:24:47

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

2014-06-12 06:31:09

xnsywlc

2014-06-12 09:05:23

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

2014-06-13 01:51:27

Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.

2014-06-13 12:20:46

When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.

2014-06-13 17:59:35

I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.

2014-06-13 23:08:32

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

2014-06-14 09:23:17

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

2014-06-14 19:44:42

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

2014-06-16 16:59:11

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

2014-06-16 17:19:15

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

2014-06-17 04:28:45

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.

2014-06-17 10:05:00

You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

2014-06-17 15:21:04

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

2014-06-18 02:46:12

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

2014-06-18 02:52:03

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

2014-06-18 13:58:17

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.

2014-06-18 19:24:26

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

2014-06-19 02:23:48

Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.

2014-06-19 12:10:56
HCG

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

2014-06-19 13:38:18

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

2014-06-20 01:23:40

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

2014-06-20 04:58:56

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

2014-06-20 12:30:00

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

2014-06-20 21:06:39

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

2014-06-20 23:53:28

O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

2014-06-21 10:59:02

I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.

2014-06-21 13:09:23

The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.

2014-06-21 22:19:15

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

2014-06-22 05:19:43

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

2014-06-22 09:19:04

It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.

2014-06-22 20:08:03

I am not young enough to know everything.

2014-06-22 20:55:48

Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.

2014-06-23 07:20:51

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

2014-06-23 12:54:07

Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.

2014-06-23 18:35:16

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

2014-06-24 06:05:10

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.

2014-06-24 06:21:46
HGH

Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.

2014-06-24 17:22:42

Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.

2014-06-24 23:58:38

When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.

2014-06-25 00:15:13

fhymcpi

2014-06-25 04:58:59

I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.

2014-06-25 13:24:54

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

2014-06-25 13:45:43

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

2014-06-26 01:00:49

Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.

2014-06-26 06:48:57

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

2014-06-26 12:10:17

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--

2014-06-27 00:33:02

I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.

2014-06-27 01:13:45

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

2014-06-27 14:19:29

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

2014-06-28 01:59:19

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

2014-06-28 02:54:17

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

2014-06-28 14:44:26

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

2014-06-29 01:05:26

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

2014-06-29 02:41:14

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

2014-06-29 14:59:07

I am not young enough to know everything.

2014-06-30 00:41:18

It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

2014-06-30 03:24:05

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

2014-06-30 15:40:48

Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

2014-07-01 00:40:43

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

2014-07-01 03:56:39

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

2014-07-01 15:54:54

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

2014-07-01 23:51:21

I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.

2014-07-02 04:32:18

I am not young enough to know everything.

2014-07-02 16:38:32

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

2014-07-03 00:02:51

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!

2014-07-03 04:38:44

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

2014-07-03 16:07:17

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

2014-07-03 22:12:12

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

2014-07-04 03:50:34

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

2014-07-04 20:36:54

I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.

2014-07-05 14:15:24

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

2014-07-05 18:42:54

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

2014-07-06 01:47:39

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

2014-07-06 13:11:56

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

2014-07-06 16:43:27

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

2014-07-07 00:40:31

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

2014-07-07 11:52:24

Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.

2014-07-07 18:25:35

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

2014-07-07 18:41:27

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

2014-07-08 04:39:01

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

2014-07-08 10:01:49

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

2014-07-08 14:59:02

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

2014-07-09 01:19:34

Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.

2014-07-09 01:46:46

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

2014-07-09 11:39:02

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.

2014-07-09 17:18:35

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

2014-07-10 08:05:46

They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.

2014-07-10 08:34:41

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

2014-07-10 18:47:16

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

2014-07-11 05:38:43

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

2014-07-11 15:40:05

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.

2014-07-11 15:54:25

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.

2014-07-12 02:58:03

They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

2014-07-12 08:24:11

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

2014-08-05 14:07:45

rxypnyur

2014-08-22 05:45:39

wuijag

2014-09-11 12:50:35

iyuownl

2014-09-17 15:44:50

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2014-10-21 08:23:38

asbbvi

2014-10-26 11:19:16

iycfiqjuufedifssjft, http://www.ufjgqifwhm.com/ lyjeylvijc

2014-11-02 09:02:08

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2014-11-09 12:05:53

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2014-11-14 05:56:56

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2014-11-22 10:43:20

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2014-12-30 13:52:18

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2014-12-31 23:25:24

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2015-01-04 23:23:03

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2015-01-09 01:38:50

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2015-01-30 11:31:02

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2015-01-31 17:37:46

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2015-02-11 05:53:17

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2015-02-17 22:54:29

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2015-02-27 03:18:07

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2015-03-27 17:12:08

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2015-04-02 23:39:47

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2015-04-11 09:48:22

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2015-04-15 01:35:50

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2015-04-28 08:56:53

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2015-05-18 18:30:41

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2015-05-20 05:52:00

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2015-05-26 17:04:08

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2015-06-04 23:25:53

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2015-06-10 09:07:54

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2015-06-27 01:37:15

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2015-06-30 13:20:55

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2015-07-03 01:49:38

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2015-07-13 21:34:59

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2015-08-26 16:25:24

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2015-09-03 14:08:24

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2015-09-27 22:53:20

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2016-01-18 17:08:07

Zagadnienie ciekawe, artykuł doskonałe przedstawia
wszelkie kwestie związane z tematem. Jedynie brak mi opinii autora.

2016-01-20 00:27:52

Super strona i jeszcze lepszy artykuł. Ciekawy, przemyślany, nowatorski.
Czekam na więcej

2016-01-22 13:42:53

Download the Actual Racing 3 Hack Cheats Trainer Instrument now and
simply buy and unlock the best vehicles in the sport.

2016-01-28 09:02:09

As you are getting ready your 2016 advertising plan, hede
are some predictions for whaqt the top trends can bbe within the New 12 months — and
what these traits could mean to your small business.

2016-02-10 18:04:59

Youu don'thave too have deep pockets or break your revised budgets
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2016-02-12 22:53:18

Glitter is one of the biggest 2011 beauty trends, with glitter dipped nails seen at House of Holland and the brightly coloured glitter-bombed eyes at Giles.

If there are embellishments, such as beading, sequins, appliqus or embroidery,
in order not to ruin the pattern or design, you have to shorten the prom dress in the waist part or
make some ruffles on the dress. Smelling nice is the
last step in dressing well, and I like to wear a scent that's unplaceable, whether by mixing two colognes,
or spending a little extra to get something you can't find at the mall.
These types of fashion garments and accessories should always have a place in your closets so
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The following suggestions if followed keenly might surely keep your
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2016-02-13 13:14:48

If you choose patterns, make sure the pattern is
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Εξαιρετικό πουκάμισο , το οποίο μπορεί κάλλιστα να αντικαταστήσει
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Το προϊόν έχει σχεδιαστεί για
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φθηνα ανδρικα ρουχα
Κάθε άντρας χρειάζεται ένα πρακτικό και κομψό πουκάμισο
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γιορτές, καθώς και σοβαρές επιχειρηματικές
συναντήσεις. Το πουκάμισο είναι
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